Am I ever going to get good at this?

The answer, is most likely..no. Life, most of the time, is swallowing me whole, with grocery lists, and babysitting, bath time and days at grandma's house. I prefer it that way. I love to sit down and write out the important and sometimes scarring events on paper, but the reality is that time is hard to come by. So maybe, for 2015, I'll get over the fact that I am really awful and staying on top of my blog, and just enjoy re-reading my little blurbs of life I do get to writing. 
You know what else I like about writing on MY blog? No spell checks. No word count. Spelling errors? No problem! Another semester of school is quickly approaching, which means lots of late night papers and a lot of hearing myself say 'I hate school' under my breath as I crack open my books. I want to put the babes to bed, lay in my own, and read a book. One that I get to choose. Or maybe watch a trashy reality show. But I also have to continue reminding myself that this part of my life, the one I'm living right now, is gonna be the best of my life. Probably. At least that's what I hear. Although, becoming a grandma seems pretty great. Before my babe turns into a sport playing, homework-doing, sassy machine, I want to enjoy teaching him to say a new word, or teaching him to kick a ball. I'm never going to be as needed as I am right now. And that makes me want to cry for lots of reasons. Maybe I'll just never stop having babies, so that I'm always this needed, and I'm always teaching babies to kick a ball. 
2014 was good bad and ugly. Family trials and self-discovery pushed their way into almost each day of this good year. My most favorite part was watching Winn grow. He's 18 months now, and is showing slight symptoms of THE TERRIBLE TWOS. I kind of love it, even though he grits his teeth then pulls my hair before I know what's hit me. Only when I say no, or sometimes even when he just feels like it. But it's okay. I'm the worst at disciplining. I laugh the entire time, literally, because his face stares up at mine wondering "Why you so grumpy mom?". That's how it makes me feel, which makes me laugh. Because I'm usually stopping him from eating dog food, or putting his whole arm in the toilet, or eating from the garbage can. I PROMISE I'M A GOOD MOTHER.
Winn learned that opening presents is fun! And Christmas meant Santa, and wrapping paper, and new toys. He literally learns a new word every day, sometimes out of nowhere. He learned to say apple all by himself, and can say a whole slew of animal noises. Lion is my favorite, where he makes a growling noise from him throat. It's priceless. 
2014 brought epiphanies and enlightenment to me. It also made me realize that holy cow do I still have a lot of work on! It's the never ending process of improving ourselves I guess. 
I'm really excited for this new year. I'll have a 2 year old this year, which, I'd rather not talk about. Maybe another baby will come our way. Maybe a move is in 2015's pockets. I don't know. But I kind of love the not knowing, only because I've got an incredibly supportive and adventurous husband who makes the rough ride seem fun. He makes it seem like, hey, this is what we wanted! Even when it's not. 
I'll try to get better at writing my blurbs, but my pretend glimpse into the future tells me, I won't be improving that. Life only gets busier. But, until it's no longer busy, which I hope it never slows down, my once every few months blurbs will have to do. 

2015, holla at your girl.