BITES & BABIES: Wowzers!

I am seriously the worst. It's honestly been MONTHS since I've looked at this blog of mine. As for the past few months: Winner turned one and had an awesome party surrounded and spoiled by people who love him. I turned 25. (I feel old?) Colt also turned 25. (He acts like he's still 16. And I love it.) Winn learned to walk, and is now practically running, which has me screaming 'Winn, no! Winn, no!' all the time. I'm that mom, who is OVERLY protective of her baby. Ha! I remember seeing 'that mom'. Thinking, 'She is such a helicopter mom. I will never be like that.' Here I am. Actually, if you look in the dictionary at Overprotective Mama: You'll see my name number and photo. It's bad, and I know it. I see myself doing these overprotective things, and I can't stop! I just love that kid too much. It's all consuming. In a good way I sure hope. I'm trying real hard to let the little things go..like letting him eat a pancake smothered in syrup all by himself. Getting syrup in his eyes, hair, in between his little fingers, and even down on his chubby thighs cause he drops a few. See, I'm learning!

Overall, life is so good. I feel like the past few months, the past year really, I've been put through the refinery. I've been burned, done some burning myself, been to pure exhaustion, near the brink of depression, struggling with self-image, learning how to be a mom, discovering this new love that I've felt for my baby, which by the way, is so strong it sometimes brings me to tears, and lots more. I think I've learned a lot about myself. What I'm capable of, what I'm not so good at, what I need to work on, who I want surrounding and uplifting me, and a lot of what I can take. I hope I've come out lookin pretty 'refined' at this point. I've discarded feelings and burdens, guilt and sorrow that I've carried with me for longer than I should've. I'm getting to release them and give them away. I've found myself smack dab in the middle of the 'does this make me happy?' question. I've figured out the answer, too. I'm super lucky, to have a husband that is so supportive of me. He puts up with my self-bullying, which is just self-destruction in the end, and encourages me to love myself. He tells me I'm a good mom, and I believe him. I'm not one to toot my own horn; I take compliments horribly because I truthfully don't believe them, but I've gotta say, I think I'm doing a pretty good job at being a mom. And it's not even me! It's that sweet boy that keeps teaching me everything I'll take from him. And I love it.

We've spent our summer watching Colt play soccer, been to lots of parks, swam a time or two, and have been enjoying watch our baby grow into the cutest thing on the planet. I swear, I'm gonna eat him whole one day. He's too darn cute for his own good. I'm excited for Fall, and the Holidays, for yet another new holiday experience with my baby. It's exciting, and life is so good.