Scatter-Brained

Ya know those times in your life where nothing makes sense and everything kind of gets thrown upside down? I feel like my life has taken a few unexpected turns the last little while. My constants are my baby and my hubby. Thank goodness for them. 
I remember back in High School, the feeling of lonely. I had 1, maybe 2 good friends by me, who I actually felt I could trust, and the rest were just typical girls. Girls are plain viscous and if you're a girl, or live with one....you know exactly what I mean. I've had an experience lately that made me feel like my 16 year old self again..and I hated it. For a moment I wanted to say, wait..pause..I am 25, I shouldn't have to do this again or feel like this again. But life kind of a has a way of showing you things. Make you realize what you've got and who you've got, even if it comes in a really ugly way. 
Winn is almost a year old. GUYS!!! I can't believe it! I find him growing out of clothes (as usual) and think, seriously my baby is wearing 2T? And although my baby is still a baby, he's growing up and doing all these little boy things right before my eyes and I can't stop him! He's mastered crawling, and he actually sprint-crawls too, like when I open the baby gate he crawls as fast as possible to the freedom beyond the gate that he thinks exists, or when dad comes home, he sprints to him and actually right on past him, like he forgot where he was headed so fast. He pulls himself up to anything and everything, walks around anything, and I swear he's SO close to actually walking. Which..I'll probably cry when that happens. Cause even though he's extremely large for his age, he's still so small!! And this world can really suck and I want him to stay innocent and little forever. He eats whatever you give him, he can drink through a straw, even though he backwashes 90% of the time. He is learning to love swimming, he loves walks and hikes on dad's back, he loves crowds and noise, he loves his toes, he is so ticklish & laughs even if I give him a funny look (I'm tellin ya, he's the happiest baby ever), he loves Bubble Guppies, especially when he eats, and he has grown a full on mullet & I'm totally loving it. The past year has just flown by--I try to think back to when I was going on 2 hours of sleep every night, trying my best to nurse, and was pretty miserable, thinking I could never have another baby again--I don't think I'll forget those hard months anytime soon, but man..how it was worth it! I feel lucky to have Winn, I'm glad he chose us. I remember when the doctor placed him in my arms, tears rolling down my face, kinda of grossed out a little by all the stuff he was covered in (just being honest), and thinking...I know you! You look familiar! It was a strange feeling..one I hope to feel with every one of my children. Can't believe it's nearly been a full year. I am blessed. 
As life has unrolled before me the last couple of months I have also been taught a lot of things, mainly through other people. I've learned that faith in the Lord will truly bring miracles to your life, I've learned that the more you focus on being a good friend to those around you, the less you notice the things in your life that make you sad, I've learned that a little goes a long ways, I've learned that friends that turn into family are one of my favorite things about life--Meeting new friends that almost instantly become your family, I like that. 
My heart is full. Real full.