Hoping It's Not Just Me.

So Colt is out of town for a couple of days, and I have cried every day. I'm telling myself it's just because I'm pregnant, but I know it's because I'm so attached to the man that obviously I need therapy. He is down in Vegas at a work convention, just enjoying himself, loving the little break he's getting, and I'm over here eating a bowl of cereal, crying, and sleeping with the lights on. Get a grip Court. 
I have successfully made it to my 33rd week of pregnancy. I feel like my belly isn't getting any bigger, but my baby is. So, it feels like his feet are punching me through my ribs and straight in the boob, and his hands are pulling at my hip bones. It's real uncomfortable. Today I asked him, very nicely I might add, to please stop moving the way he was moving because he was really pulling my insides apart. Sometimes he sits right under my belly button and pushes it out or sucks it right in and it freaks me out/hurts me too. You should see how I'm having to sit to type right now. His feet are just all up in my ribs. Yikes Mr, we still have 7 weeks to go and my body is huuurting. Speaking of having 7 weeks left, what the heck? Where has the time gone? I remember when Colt and I found out we were pregnant and the excitement we felt and everything else that comes along with being a first time parent. I still feel those anxious feelings, mostly about the unknown. When do I feed him, how do I know when he's hungry, will he sleep good for me, will I rock at nursing (please oh please let me rock at nursing), who is going to watch him for me when I work, how in the world will we afford this nugget, and on and on I could go. The stress and anxious I have felt, and continue to feel, is so overwhelming. But I know this--Heavenly Father wants us to have kids. He wants me to be a mom and Colt to be a dad. He wants me to bring children into my home and to raise a family. So, He will provide a way for me to do that. And He will help all those questions get answered. So in my many moments of panic, I just try and remember that I am suppose to do this, and everything will be okay. Although, if one more person says "Oh it will all work itself out..." I think I may slap the person right across the face. That's everyone's response. Well that's great, but in the meantime of things just "working themselves out", I have to take the initiative to make them actually work out. Ha ha. I sound bitter. Maybe I am. 
I have my first baby shower at work this Friday, and my big family shower on Saturday. I'm excited to get baby things and get his room settled. I'm so incredibly excited to meet this little guy.
& this is just because I want him to know how excited I was for him one day: the past 9 months of my life have been hard, exciting, emotional, overwhelming, painful, and incredibly incredibly happy. I feel so blessed that I have been given the opportunity to carry this beautiful baby boy in my belly and to be his mommy. I hope he knows how much love he is already surrounded by. Colt and I are incredibly in love, and honestly, I think our relationship is the best I know of. There is not a single thing about it that I would change, or wish were different. Everything about our marriage is exactly perfect. Yes, we fight, and yes, we drive each other crazy some days, but honestly, I think we are everything to each other. And baby is super lucky to have parents who are in love. Colt and I are so excited to be parents and have no idea what we are doing and that's going to be half the fun. I know I could go into labor at any given moment now-a-days, and I'm just feeling overwhelmed with love in my life. I feel so blessed by so many things, even through all the stresses that have hit us hard the past few months. We get to be parents in T-minus 7 weeks. Oh my gosh. I can't hardly wait. 

(I can't wait to sleep on my stomach again.)